


I Got You

by TheWinterSoldieress



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Returns, Bucky Barnes makes me cry, Emotionally unstable, Feelings, Healing, I am so done with Marvel, M/M, Marvel - Freeform, Recovery, Roomates, Starbucks, Stark Tower, Steve Feels, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, Steve Rogers needs to loosen up, Stucky - Freeform, stevebucky - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-01
Updated: 2014-05-27
Packaged: 2018-01-21 14:03:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1553018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWinterSoldieress/pseuds/TheWinterSoldieress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-Serum Captain America and Bucky Barnes after the downfall of SHIELD: Steve finds Bucky, or rather, Bucky finds Steve, and they begin the long and tedious healing process together with the help of some of the Avengers. As they make their way into modern society, new experiences and emotions bring out the best, and worst, in both of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

     The early morning serenity of Stark tower was punctured by a resonating shout.

     "CAPTAIN!!!"

     Steve, who had gotten up early for his run and now sat on the balcony, jumped to his feet, spilling coffee on his track pants. He rushed inside, grabbing his shield from its place near the doorway and headed in the direction of Sam's voice. As he made his way to the hallway where the shout still rang, one of the bedroom doors swung open and Sam ran out to stop him.

     "Cap, I don't know if you should go in there."

     "Why not? What's wrong?" Steve asked, trying to push past Sam and peek into the room.

     "It's- It's- It's Bucky. He's here, Steve," Sam hesitated, then pushed Steve back when he began to fight towards the open doorway. "He's not good, Cap. He's a mess and I can't tell if he's himself or the Winter Soldier right now."

     "He's Bucky, I promise. Now let go of me!"

     "Cap-" but Steve had already pushed past an stood in the doorway , staring blankly around the room.

     "He's not here." The curtains to the fire escape Tony had built after The Battle of New York billowed inwards, drawing Steve's attention to the ripped window screen.

     "Cap, don't do it. Just let him go and do this on his own, when he's ready," Sam said behind his shoulder, but it was a useless argument. Steve was already making his way out the window and, glancing up, he spotted a glint of metal disappear over the edge of the tower roof. As he pursued Bucky, he thought to himself, _What do I say to him? He may not remember me quite yet after the Potomac. It was 4 months ago._

As he climbed over the lip of the tower, he saw Bucky moving quickly along the edge of the rooftop, but Steve was set on closing the distance. As he neared Bucky, he could see the way his ragged jeans and jacket hung off the other man's body. Once Bucky was within reach, he lunged forward and wrapped his arms around Bucky's torso, pitching his weight backwards so they wouldn't topple off the edge of the tower. Steve landed on his back with a grunt and Bucky writhed against him, struggling to free himself from Steve's hold.

     "Bucky, it's me. It's Steve," he murmured in an attempt to calm his best friend. As he repeated the statement a few more times, he felt the tenseness leave Bucky's body. Steve loosened his grip and moved away and to his feet, but not before noticing the fragility of Bucky's body, so different from when he had seen him 4 months ago.

     Bucky sat up, shoulders hunched over and  looked away from Steve, legs outstretched. Steve dropped his shield aside and hesitantly, ever so cautiously, reached a hand out to his friend. As his fingers came into contact with the cold metal of Bucky's left arm, the other man flinched away.

     "Bucky..." Steve breathed.

     Bucky's back trembled as he choked out, "I'm so sorry, Steve."

     Steve drew in a quick breath and brought himself around in front of his friend, and crouched down to look into his face, but Bucky looked away. Steve reached out and curled his fingers around Bucky's chin, pulling his face towards him. Unshed tears glistened in Bucky's hollow, lifeless eyes, his lips were cracked and peeling, cheeks wind burnt, and dark circles sat beneath his lower lashes. Dark, unruly stubble covered his chin and dirt streaked across his face and in the hair hanging down his face in limp, unruly strands.

     A pang resonated in Steve's chest upon seeing Bucky in such a condition.

     "It's okay, Buck."

     "No! I'm not Bucky anymore. I know what I did. I've killed innocent people- and almost you!"

     "You're wrong."

     Bucky looked up at him, eyes widening as Steve took hold of both his human and prosthetic hands.

     "Bucky, what you did wasn't actually done by you. It was your physical form, yes, but not _you._ The man who killed all of those people was Hydra, brainwashed into a machine for the benefit of others' sick minds. It wasn't you."

     The thought sat on Bucky's mind, and he stared down at his hands wrapped around Steve's. "I guess..." he hesitated, still mulling over the ideas, "But it was still me."

     "Bucky, how much do you remember of the last ninety years?"

     Bucky looked up again, staring directly into Steve's eyes. "I remember most of everything before I fell, but after that it comes and goes. I remember the woman you were with earlier. The redhead. I shot her. I shot her to kill the man she was protecting. She's a tough lady. Smart too."

     Steve let out a small chuckle at the remark about Natasha, knowing she would be proud of herself if the Winter Soldier complimented her, but couldn't get his mind off of how weak Bucky's voice was. It was as if he had pneumonia.

     Sam, who had followed behind Steve, stood to the side, watching the exchange. Steve looked up at him and their gazes met. Sam smiled a bittersweet smile.

     "Bucky, will you come back with me? It's just you, me and Sam here. We can help you get better and remember."

     "I- I would like that," Bucky whispered, meeting Steve's eyes again.

     "Come on, then. Lets get you cleaned up," Steve reached for Bucky's arm and helped his friend up. Bucky staggered on his feet for a second, displaying just how weak he was. They made their way back down the fire escape and climbed through the broken window. Sam left towards the kitchen, dialing the butler's number to have some clean clothes brought up for Bucky and a room made up as well. Steve, his arm around Bucky's shoulders, guided him towards the bathroom, where he showed him how to work the shower and set out fresh towels and toiletries.

     "Do you need a bag or anything?" Steve asked.

     Bucky quirked a brow.

     "For your arm in the shower. Like when you break something you cover the cast with a bag so it doesn't get wet... Of course your arm isn't broken, well it was. I think. Was it? And it is metal- is it electric or something? Of course not. Do you need something for it?"

     "No... I'm all good. Thanks."

     "Alright, then, I'll leave you to it." 

     Instead of leaving, however. He jigged the doorknob so it wouldn't lock, then went outside and took a seat leaning against the wall outside the door. As soon as he heard the water running, he tipped his head back and closed his eyes, processing this sudden turn of events in his search for Bucky.

      "What does he like to eat?" Sam asked, "I'm making a full spread for him."

     Steve, eyes still closed, chuckled, "Something nutritious and hearty. He's malnourished and underweight right now."

     "It looked like he hadn't eaten or bathed since we saw him last. We may need to call a doctor, too. It sounded and looked like he was sick."

     "I'll see and call in the morning. For now, all Buck needs is to clean up, eat, and sleep. Did Hastings send clothes up and ready a guest room?"

     "Yep."

     Steve got up and made his way towards the room Bucky would be using. He dug through one of the drawers, grabbing a soft shirt, boxers and sweats for Bucky. Then he headed into his room next door to change out of his coffee-stained pants. He brought Bucky's clothes back to the bathroom and knocked on the door before answering. When he didn't hear a reply, he opened the door and stepped inside, only to have a skinny arm encircle his neck and a fist wrap around his jaw.

     "Buck- it's just me. I brought you clothes."

     Bucky started, coming to the realization that he attacked Steve and wrenched himself away, cowering from the bigger man.

     "I'm so sorry. I- I should go. I should have known I wasn't ready.  It's not safe for me to be here.

     Steve gazed at his friend, towel loose around his protruding hipbones and his ribs striped his torso. Gone was the fit and physically-conscious Bucky that Steve knew. "You're staying, I'm used to it from working with Natasha. It's okay, Buck. We're going to help you get better."

     Bucky just stared at the ground, silent, then nodded his head.

     "Hey, it's alright. Like I said, I'm used to it. Do you want me to get you a razor. I don't know how I feel about you with a beard."

     "Sure," Bucky felt at his chin.

     Steve pulled open a drawer under the sink and fished through it, grabbing a straight razor, shaving cream and aftershave. "You good with this?"

     "Yeah, I think so. Thanks."

     "I'm going to let you be and help Sam finish breakfast. I'll be in the kitchen if you need me." Steve turned out of the room, closing the door behind him, and went to help Sam set the table. In the kitchen, coffee brewed, and the table was littered with platters of eggs, muffins, pancakes and waffles, bacon, sausage and tons of fruits. Steve and Sam munched on blueberries and sipped coffee while waiting for Bucky to find his way. As soon as they heard a gentle padding down the hallway, they looked up. Bucky had showered and soaked, shaved, and his skin was pink and dewy from a good scrubbing, while his hair dried in messy curls around his face. His clothes, however hung off his body like laundry from a second story apartment. The shirt went past his hips and the pants resembled parachutes. He sat down next to Steve.

     Looking at both Steve and Sam, Bucky's eyes rounded at the amount of food at the table. "Thank you for helping me. I wouldn't trust anybody else."

     "Neither would I," Steve breathed.

     "Enough chit-chat, let's eat!" Sam said, eyeing up the muffins.

     The men chuckled, well, Steve and Sam did. Bucky just cracked a small smile and the men dished up their plates. They ate in a companionable silence throughout the meal, and when they finished eating, began to clear the table. Bucky looked at the dishwasher with something like fear in his eyes, and Sam and Steve laughed, explaining the foreign machine to Buck.

     "Have you never seen a dishwasher?" Sam gawked.

     "Sorry, no. I haven't had a real meal in forever either, just vitamins and injections. Thank you for cooking."

     When the kitchen was tidied, Steve showed Bucky to his bedroom and sat with him while explaining how to work the television and remote. About an hour later, when Bucky finally stopped flipping channels and settled on a baseball game, Steve stood up and made his way to the door.

     "I'll let you rest. You should really try to sleep"

     "When the game's over I will."

     "Okay, I'll be here all day for you."

     Fifteen minutes later, Steve went to check up on Bucky. He found his friend snoring lightly, his frail body curled in the fluffy down pillows and comforters, the ninth inning still playing on the TV.


	2. Chapter 2

     Steve sat up in bed when he heard someone stumbling along the dark hallways. It wasn't Sam, he didn't walk like that, and Bucky was passed out, snoring heavily, when Steve checked on him again before going to bed. He had checked up on Bucky all day, and every time he checked, the man was zonked out in the middle of his bed among a cocoon of pillows, clutching one to his chest. Thankful that he had fallen asleep with the light on, he pushed the discarded copy of _Harry Potter_ off of his lap and reached down, curling his fingers around the rim of his shield. He slipped silently off the bed and pressed himself against the wall next to the door as it creaked open. As a figure entered the room, he raised his arm and the force of his punch on the unsuspecting intruder knocked the intruder against the door momentarily, before he fought back. Steve hurled his shield at their torso, but whoever it was ducked to the ground and drove a kick into the side of Steve's calf, buckling his knees. Grunting as he fell, he swung his shield again, but it wasn't until after the retaliation was in action that he noticed the glimpse of metal on the hand of his opponent.

     "BUCKY! What are you doing!?"

     "Jesus Christ, Steve!" Bucky dodged Steve's shield.

     "Sorry, Buck. It's been a while since there have been new footsteps in the house. What are you doing up? It's three AM."

     "I, uh, I had a nightmare..." Bucky scratched the back of his head. "I was looking for somewhere I could step outside and get some air."

     "Sure, you're okay. The balcony is this way," Steve reassured, leading Bucky out of the room and down the hall to the open living area. "Are you alright? Could I get you something to drink?"

     "Sure, thanks. Water is fine."

     "That's the way to the balcony," Steve pointed to a glass door among the wall of windows. "I'll be right out."

     Bucky headed outside and Steve went to pour two glasses of water, noticing the cold draft wafting through the house when Bucky opened the door. He grabbed his jacket and zipped it on, then contemplated grabbing a stadium blanket from the back of an armchair on his way out.

     Bucky stood with his back to Steve, staring across the city with dull eyes.

     "Here, Buck. It's chilly out here.' Steve handed the fleece Dodgers blanket to Bucky and set the water glasses on the table before taking a seat. Bucky wrapped the blanket around his shoulders and turned back towards the city. They sat in companionable silence for a while before Bucky turned around and took the seat next to Steve. He wrapped the blanket around himself and brought his knees to his chin to tuck it under his bare feet.

     "Do you want to talk about it?"

     "No, I don't, Cap."

     "That's okay. I'm always here if you want to."

     "Thanks. Why are you living here? I remember hoping you would get the hell out of the war and go home to Brooklyn."

     Steve chuckled. "This is my friend, Tony's business building. He doesn't use the penthouse and is now rebuilding his mansion in Malibu. It was blown up last summer."

     "He has rich taste in decorating.Why have you always been drawn to dangerous people?"

     "Well, there's a bunch of us. There are other people like me, Buck. We're like a family. They call us The Avengers."

     "Seriously?"

     "Yeah. There's Tony, he has this suit of iron that can fly and stuff, but he gave it up after the events of last summer. They call him Iron Man. Then there's Dr. Banner, who tested with gamma radiation, and now whenever he gets mad, he turns into this huge green kind of monster, hence his name, The Hulk. Natasha used to be kind of the bad guy before SHIELD took her under their wing as an agent. Then there's Clint, a dead shot with an arrow. Thor, well you know the Norse God. Yes, he's real and his brother is one troublemaking son of a gun."

     "So, you're telling me that there are a bunch of other people who have been tested on and have some special traits or whatever, and you get together to do what exactly?"

     "Well, before SHIELD crashed, we fought crimes together. Then, Tony went back to Malibu, Natasha is somewhere in Asia. Bruce, Dr. Banner, went back to India to continue doctoring. Clint is somewhere around here and Thor took Loki back to Asgard. I met Sam just before... well before, and he is staying with me and was helping to track you down. I've been searching everywhere for you, Buck."

     "Well, I'm here."

     "And I am so unbelievably glad to know you're okay and that HYDRA didn't get their hands on you again."

     Bucky sipped his water. "Me, too."

     "Buck, is it okay if I call a doctor for you? You're very skinny and you look really unhealthy and I think you might be sick."

     "Isn't it me who used to be the one calling the doctor?" Bucky looked at Steve with the tiniest bit of a sparkle in his eyes.

     "Hehe yes, but is it okay? Will you be alright with it?"

     "I don't know. I don't like doctors."

     "We can talk about it in the morning. I'm going to go back to bed. You should, too."

     "Yeah, I should."

     They headed back inside, Bucky still wrapped in the stadium blanket. Once they reached Bucky's room, Steve turned to the other man.

     "You sure you're going to be okay? I could bring you some tea or something."

     "I'm, um, I'm sure I'll be fine." Bucky rubbed the back of his head again.

     "You always do that when you're uncomfortable or hiding something."

     "What?"

     "Rub the back of your head. What is it, Buck?"

     "I'm okay, really. I was, uh, well, um. Could I have one of your shirts?"

     "Why?"

     "Well, I haven't really slept well in a while and I guess your scent helps a bit. Maybe it's your aftershave or something, but I ended up falling asleep on the pillow you used earlier when you showed me how to work the TV and it helped because it smelled like you."

     "Yeah, of course. I'll get you a shirt, okay?" Bucky nodded and Steve went to his room to dig a t-shirt out of his dresser. He brought it back to Bucky and gave his friend a clap on the shoulder.

     "You need anything else and you just let me know."

     "Thanks, Cap." Bucky leaned in and wrapped his arms around Steve's waist. Steve was taken aback for a second by the way his friend nestled his head into his shoulder, then wrapped his arms around the smaller man. Steve could feel his shoulder blades and would probably be able to touch opposite elbows with how small Buck was. He bent his head down and enveloped Bucky tighter, wanting nothing more than to keep his friend safe and make him better. Bucky nuzzled into the crook of Steve's arm before pulling away and stepping into his bedroom.

     "Goodnight, Cap. I missed you."  


	3. Chapter 3

     "Did you tell Tony?"

     "No, Natasha! I didn't tell Tony. I didn't even tell you! What the hell are you doing here?" Steve ran his fingers messily through his hair in frustration.

     "Sam."

     "Of course. The guy has always had a soft spot for you. Does he tell you all of his cutesy little secrets?"

     Natasha glared at him. "If Bucky is here, the team deserves to know, Steve."

     "I know, but I wanted to give Buck some time. He needs to adjust. Gosh darn it! I just found him yesterday! He's my best friend! Buck is sick, Nat. He's weak and ill and doesn't  completely remember who he is. Couldn't you have just let him be for a while?"

     "The hole in my hip makes sure men let me be so I guess not."

     Steve glanced up at Natasha, "Very funny, but untrue, and if you say anything like that around him I will throw you out the window."

     "No you won't."

     "Try me. I'm not losing Buck a third time."

     Sam padded into the kitchen sleepily, then jumped to attention at the sight of Natasha. His attempts at hiding his crush have always failed and everyone has just about gotten used to it by now. The man was so smitten, you could see the hearts in his eyes.

     "Morning, Nat. I thought I told you not to tell anyone."

     "Sam, honey, do you honestly believe I would? I just came to see for myself."

     "And I thought you wouldn't tell anyone," Steve stood and stared Sam down, noticing the slight fissure in the other man's facade. 

     "Cap- she was going to find out eventually."

     Natasha sat down at the counter and watched the standoff in amusement. After loudly slurping her coffee, she got the attention of both men. "So, where is he?"

     "Sleeping," Steve answered quickly. "He's exhausted and I need to start making him breakfast."

     Steve went to the fridge and pulled out a carton of eggs and set a pan on the stove. "He slept all day yesterday and through the night until around three when he had a nightmare. I took him outside for air and told him to go back to bed." He cracked a few eggs into a bowl, poured in some milk, and began to whisk the mixture. "He attacked me twice since I caught him, although one of them was kind of my fault." Steve stirred in a handful of spinach and a sprinkled in a few spices, then poured the eggs into the pan and popped a piece of bread into the toaster.

     "So he's still hostile?" Nat quirked a brow. "I thought you said he was better."

     "He is, but his actions are instinctive right now."

     "Oh- that's what went down in the bathroom yesterday," Sam quipped. "I walked by and saw you two, but decided not to interrupt."

     "Very funny, Sam."

     "Hey, I'm just saying."

     "Yeah, well you can be done 'just saying.'" Steve turned back to the stove to flip the omelette. He went to the fridge again and pulled out a brick of cheese to grate over the eggs. The toaster popped.

     "Well, Cap. I'm happy you found him," Natasha found his eyes. "But you need to tell the team."

     "I will. But not before I know that Buck is okay to meet them, especially Tony."

     "It is Tony's tower..."

     "And what he doesn't know won't kill him. I'll tell him when it's time."

     Natasha, recognizing the determined voice of Captain America, sat back in her stool, accepting the ultimatum. Steve got out a plate, buttered Bucky's toast and served up the omelette with a glass of orange juice.

     "I'm going to go wake him up and see if he's up to seeing you. I only planned on talking him into seeing a doctor today, not an ex-nemesis," Steve pointed out to Natasha.

     "Well, you can thank your partner in crime for that," Nat grinned at Sam, who blushed.

     "Unbelievable," Steve muttered and left the kitchen.

     He knocked on Bucky's door. When there wasn't an answer, he opened it and went inside. Bucky was soundly snoring among a pile of pillows and blankets, still clutching the old shirt Steve had given him last night.  _Geez, he's sure slept a lot._ Steve set the plate and glass on the nightstand and crouched next to Bucky's bed.

     "Buck," he whispered. "Bucky, wake up."

     Bucky's eyes slowly opened and he looked around dazedly. Steve thought about the fact that this may be the first time since the fall that Bucky was able to wake up peacefully and his heart pulled. 

     "Morning."

     "Steve."

     "I made you breakfast."

     Bucky pulled himself up against the headboard and looked at Steve blankly. "You made me breakfast."

     "Yes," Steve chuckled, remembering how slow Bucky was to fully wake.  _Guess he's still not a morning person._ "I'm going to go get you a cup of coffee."

     When he returned from the kitchen, Bucky had already finished half of his omelette and his toast and orange juice were gone. He grinned sheepishly up at Steve. "Thanks, Cap."

     Steve's heart skipped a beat at the use of his nickname, just as it had last night after Bucky hugged him. He went to sit in the chair next to the bed. "Anything for you."

     Bucky nodded and resumed shoveling down his breakfast.

     "Hey Buck, you know that woman you were talking about yesterday?"

     "The redhead?"

     "Yeah. She's here right now. She wanted to see you."

     Bucky set his plate down on his lap and looked Steve dead in the eye. "No she doesn't."

     "What do you mean?"

     "She doesn't want to see me. She wants to make sure you're safe with me here. I saw how she covered your ass back in Washington."

     Steve laughed. "True. True. But she would still like to meet you as, you know, you."

     "I guess... Doesn't she hate me? I shot her. Maybe it isn't a good idea."

     "It's okay, Buck. I'll be with you."

     "Okay, I- yeah. Okay."

     Bucky finished his breakfast and sipped his coffee. 

     "You ready?"

     "Sure, Steve."

     When Bucky walked out of the room and towards the kitchen, his steps faltered as he heard Natasha and Sam conversing easily at the counter.

     "I got you, Buck."

     They entered the kitchen, and Natasha turned her head, mid-laugh. Her face sobered and a soft, what Steve assumed was Russian, expletive left her lips. Bucky answered in flawless Russian, and Natasha stood, replying. The exchange went on for a minute more and they moved towards each other cautiously. Their voices remained calm, and it seemed like Nat was conducting one of her well-known interrogations by the smug look on her face and the fearful look on Bucky's. 

     Sam and Steve shared a cautious glance. "What are they saying?" Steve asked nervously. Sam shrugged his shoulders.

     Bucky uttered a phrase and looked at his feet. "Я сожалею."

     Natasha reached out and took Bucky's cool metal hand in her own. She looked him in the eye and pulled him towards her, enveloping him in a hug. It took a second before Bucky hugged her back, cautiously. He fidgeted nervously when Natasha's arms looped around his shoulders. "Hey, it's okay." Natasha squeezed him tighter, and Bucky gave in, burying his face in her shoulder and wrapping his arms around her slight form.

     "He said he was sorry for all the terrible things he's done," Nat told Steve over Bucky's shoulder, and pulled away. She and Bucky shook hands.

     "I forgive you, but you also need to forgive yourself."

     "Yes ma'am."

     Natasha shot Bucky a glare. "Watch yourself, Barnes."


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to my bestie, Burt. Without her, I probably would still have all of this written down in a notebook with no intention of posting. Happy birthday, babe!

     Natasha decided that she needed to do some shopping while she was in town, which meant she dragged Steve along, who dragged Bucky, and Sam was there, well, because Sam. There had been a large debate on whether or not Bucky should join them, and Steve really wanted to stay home with him to let him rest and make him eat protein shakes  up the wazoo. Natasha had prevailed, however, convincing Steve that she wouldn't take them downtown and that they would all go in disguise. So here they are, in a boutique on the trendy side of Brooklyn. All three men sat uncomfortably in armchairs while Natasha tried on item after item of clothing. Sam always responded to her questions and modeling with animation, Steve with honesty, and Bucky not at all. He just sat, in his chair in the corner, sweeping the room with restless eyes. Natasha had dressed him in a pair of Steve's aviator sunglasses, a pair of dark denim jeans, henley that covered his arm and a pair of boat shoes. She had proclaimed that he looked positively delicious, even to Steve, when he showed discomfort in the new, flattering clothes. After the shave and shower he had the day before, along with some good meals, Bucky's skin began to gain it's glow again, but his posture still lacked and he was still curled into himself. There wasn't anything she could do about the dark bags under his eyes, but she did pull his hair back from his face in a half-bun. Wherever they went, trailing behind Natasha like ducklings, Bucky kept his hand in his pocket to hide the glint of metal. 

     Steve gazed at his friend, noticing the dark circles that still sat under the other man's eyes. he was on his way, but Steve really wished that they hadn't joined Natasha. He could see that Bucky was so incredibly on edge and uncomfortable in his own skin despite the flirtatious glances he had gotten from many young women. Natasha emerged from her fitting room for what seemed like the hundredth time, wearing a romper that looked so similar to one she had tried on at another store.

     "It looks the same as the one you just bought," Steve's voice dripped with the anticipation to get Bucky home.

     "No it doesn't. The color is deeper blue, the print is a bit lighter, and the pockets have little buttons along them," Sam quipped, appreciating the romper on Natasha.

     "Whatever. Natasha, I'm going to take Bucky home. Sam will stay with you, as if i could get him to leave."

     "Steve-"

     "No, it wasn't a good idea to bring him along yet. He flinches whenever someone passes him on the sidewalk, and almost had a panic attack when the doors closed on the subway. I'll bring some of your bags with."

     With that, Steve hoisted Bucky out of the armchair, grabbed a handful of bags from Natasha's growing pile, and left the boutique, sneaking a glance at Sam's grinning face. _That idiot_ , he thought as he dragged Bucky down the street. He was wearing his square black glasses again with a Dodgers hat and ensemble close to Bucky's. They made their way through the streets to the nearest subway station silently.

     "Would you rather take a cab?"

     "I never have."

     "Cab or subway? Whichever one you're most comfortable with, Buck."

     "Let's just take the subway."

     They headed down and got in the car to their Manhattan stop. When they piled all of Natasha's bags onto a seat and sat down, Steve looked around at the other people in the car. They were all so unsuspecting, yet they seemed to be ogling he and Bucky without shame. Bucky's shoulders hunched more, and he slid further down into his seat. Steve put a reassuring hand on his friend's knee.

     "It'll be okay, Buck. I got you."

     "I'm not worried about you. I'm worried about them," he mumbled.

     "They're just- checking you out- I think that's what Nat calls it."

     "I know, but what if they can tell?"

     "They can't, Buck. Nobody has seen you without the mask unless it's from the exhibit, and those are pictures of you from the 40's. Oh, wait. I should take you to the exhibit. You'd love it. They really talk you up."

     "I've already been."

     "It's got all of out old uni- wait, what?"

     "I went a few months ago."

     "Oh. I see."

     "The uniform they had displayed wasn't mine. It had a few buttons out of place and the pants were the wrong shade. I fell with my uniform on."

     "They tried, Buck. They tried to find it. I tried to find it."

     "It's probably in some HYDRA base garbage dump."

     "What did you say?"

     "It's probably in some HYDRA base garbage dump."

     "HYDRA. So you remember who it was? Or rather, what it was?"

     "Yeah I guess. Those are the guys we fought, right? HYDRA?"

     "Yes, I just didn't think you knew it was them who took you. They wiped you a lot."

     Bucky cringed. "I just figured it was them."

     "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up."

     "It's not your fault."

     "Little bit. This is our stop." Steve stood and reached for Natasha's bags.

     "I can get them, Bucky beat him to it, wrapping his hand around the strings of the expensive glossy bags.

     "Okay."

     They got off and walked back to Stark tower. Bucky still kept his left hand in his pocket, but his stride had a little bit more confidence. Steve held back a grin. Bucky was making progress already, coming to terms with what happened and getting it off of his chest. The elevator ride to the top was done in companionable silence. The doors opened and they stepped out into the penthouse.

     "I'll take those to Natasha's room," Steve took the bags from Bucky. He headed to the room Nat usually crashed in and set the bags on the chest at the foot of the bed. He went back to the living room to find a stammering Bucky with his arms up in an almost defense pose. Pepper stood a few feet away with a vase held above her head, yelling.

     "Who the hell are you!? What the fuck are you doing in my tower!?"

     "I- I- I'm here with Steve."

     "Hey, Pepper. It's okay," Steve quickly got over to her and wrestled the vase out of her hands.

     "My god, Steve! I almost had a heart attack. You never have guests. I was just checking the landing port to see if any remnants are still there from The Battle."

     "I don't know. I don't go out there. This is my friend, Bucky. Bucky, this is Pepper, Tony's girlfriend."

     "Well, Steve-"

     "Nice to meet you. I like your house, or apartment, or whatever it is," Bucky stammered, cautiously extending a hand to Pepper.

     She shook it. "Thanks. Sorry about that. Cap here doesn't ever bring guests over."

     "Well, this is an important guess Miss Potts, and I want you to say not a word of this to Tony," Steve stared at her seriously.

     "Why...?" Bucky made his way into the kitchen to pour himself a glass of water.

     "Do you remember me telling you about my best friend Bucky from back in the war?"

     "Yeah."

     "And I'm sure Tony told you about The Winter Soldier."

     "Of course."

     "Well, this is that Bucky, and he is, or was, The Winter Soldier. HYDRA found him after the fall."

     "Oh, well, I really should tell Tony..."

     "But you won't, right? I will tell Stark, but Bucky needs to adjust for a while first."

     "Okay then. I was on my way out so I will be seeing you later I guess."

     "Thanks, Pepper."

     "It's no problem. Just tell Tony soon." She looked over towards the kitchen, where Bucky was struggling with the water purificator attached to the faucet. "It was nice to meet you, Bucky."

     "You, too, Miss Potts. I'm sorry for scaring you."

     "It's no problem. Pull the black lever down." And with that she stepped into the elevator and headed down.\

     Bucky pulled the lever and poured a glass of water. "Are all of your friend's this defensive?"

     "Yeah, I guess they are." Steve made his way over to the fridge and pulled an apple out of the crisper. He leaned back against the counter and bit into it.

     "Well, at least they're nice."

     "You haven't met Tony yet."

     "I'm sure he's just the same."

     "Well..."

     Bucky gave him a weird look and sat down at the counter. Steve could see that his knees shook ever so slightly when Bucky bent them, and immediately knew his friend wasn't up for the activities of today.

     "Go shower if you want and rest. I'll put something on the TV and you can sit in the living room while I shower. Then I'll order a pizza or something."

     "Okay. Thanks, Steve," Bucky made his way to the bathroom. Steve called a nearby joint and ordered a couple of pizzas. He needed to eat, and he ate a lot nowadays. Maybe Bucky does too, normally. Then he went and perched on a recliner to flip through the channels on Tony's fancy television. After finding nothing, he wandered towards the movie cabinet and picked out a film,  _20,000 Leagues Under the Sea._ It was released in 1953, so it would be easier for Bucky to watch.

     Bucky padded into the room, hair dripping. "I'm done, go ahead."

     "Alrighty. The pizza should be here in about ten minutes. Can you get it from the guy and pay him?"

     "It can't be that hard."

     "Okay. My wallet is on the counter and don't forget to give him a tip."

     "Got it."

     Steve felt relieved when he stepped under the hot spray of water. The last 36 hours had been extremely stressful and his muscles had been tense nearly the entire time. As he relished under the warm water, Bucky sat on the couch watching the movie. When the doorbell rang, he jumped nearly sky high. Making his way over to the elevator doors, he grabbed Steve's wallet from the counter. The teenager standing in the elevators gazed in awe around the apartment, then stuttered when Bucky raised a brow.

     "How much do I owe you?"

     "That'll be thirty two dollars and sixty seven cents, sir."

     Bucky flinched at the price, then remembered the difference in currency nowadays. When he opened up Steve's wallet and forked over the cash and a tip to the kid, he noticed a scrap of paper, a picture maybe, hidden among the bills. When the kid left, he took the pizzas back to the kitchen and set them on the table. Feeling a slight pang of guilt for going through Steve's wallet, his curiosity got the best of him and he opened it again and took out the picture. Bucky's heart stopped. It was the picture they had taken not long before he fell. They had been in a bar with the other commandos and someone requested a picture of the two of them for a paper. Steve stood tall and proud in his ridiculous uniform, and the picture must have been taken unknowingly, because Steve's head was thrown back laughing, and Bucky gazed up at his friend, with a big open-mouthed smile on his face and a hand on his stomach.

     "Everything good? I heard the delivery guy," Steve wandered in, towel slung around his hips and still wet from the shower.

     Bucky dropped the picture like a hot coal. "I- I, uh. I didn't know they took that picture. 

     Steve looked over Bucky's shoulder at the photo. "It's my favorite. Let's eat."

     Steve went to put clothes on and then they dished the pizza onto plates and went back to the living room. The movie was pretty boring, and both of the men were tired from shopping all day. Eventually Steve's head fell against the back of the couch and slight snores escaped his mouth. Bucky stared at his sleeping friend.  _He kept that picture._

     


	5. Chapter 5

     "That was some of the best sushi I've ever-"

     "SHHT!" Natasha cut Sam off when they got back to Stark tower later that night.

     "What?" Sam whispered. Natasha pointed to the living room, where an old movie still played on the television. Steve was sprawled against the back of a couch, drooling unattractively, while Bucky, somehow, had fallen asleep on the floor next to Steve with his arm wrapped around the other man's ankle, using Steve's foot as a pillow. The rest of his body curled in a tight circle and his left arm glinted from where it wrapped around his knees. The sight was extremely comical, but endearing and adorable at the same time Natasha crept up to him and snapped a picture for all the fangirls to freak out over, careful not to include Bucky. Sam giggled as he came back from the kitchen with a spoon. He handed it to Natasha and she precariously dangled it from two fingers and slowly lowered it into Steve's mouth. After successfully tucking the spoon under his tongue, she snapped another picture and sent it to Tony.

     Steve began to stir, grumbling in his sleep. Natasha, light on her feet, dashed out of the living room and pulled Sam into the kitchen. They dropped into the chairs at the counter, holding their stomachs and covering their mouths to stifle their laughter. In the other room, they could hear Steve settle back into sleep and begin snoring again. Natasha slid over to the fridge and poured a glass of ice water. Instead of drinking it, however, she crept back into the living room. Sam guffawed. Natasha padded over to the couch behind Steve and slowly tipped the glass above him. A drop of the frigid water fell onto his jaw, trickling down his neck to rest in the groove of his collarbone. The next drop hit his forehead. Another on his cheek. The next drop hid just below his eyelashes, and Steve jerked.

     He flinched awake, nearly choking on the spoon in his mouth and looking up into the laughing eyes of Sam and Natasha. They were soon doubled over, Sam having filmed the process and sent it to all of The Avengers, and their laughter soon became silent, strangled breaths as tears streamed from their eyes.

     "I swear to God, I'm going to-" Steve jumped up from the couch, unknowingly jolting Bucky awake, and darted around the couch. Sam and Natasha, sobering quickly, got to their feet and scurried away. The chase began. Steve followed a shrieking and giggling Sam and Natasha around the living area, jumping off furniture and sliding around on the hardwood floor. Soon, pillows were being thrown, and the tree of them were then engaged in a pillow fight like teenage girls. They were all laughing and before they knew it, one of Tony's throw pillows split open and teddy-bear stuffing was strewn across the floor, which began a whole new game. Natasha and Sam shared a glance before tackling Steve to the ground, attempting to stuff the fluff into the larger man's mouth.

     "I don't remember doing this."

     Sam, Steve and Natasha froze in their wrestling match on the floor. Bucky stood on the couch above them, having obviously been hiding in an attempt to avoid the rough-housing. They stared up at him, his skinny frame domineering over them, and Steve giggled, setting off the others.

     "But I'm on your side," Bucky said to Sam and Nat and jumped down from the couch, revealing the stuffing from another pillow in a hand he had behind his back. Steve began pulling himself out from the others.

     "So that's how it is?" He said as he got to his feet and darted around an armchair.

     "They obviously have the upper hand."

     And they did. Sam had crept around behind Steve and grabbed him by his ankles, while Natasha leaped around and, wrapping her legs around Steve's waist, pulled his arms behind him.

      "So I chose their side." Bucky stepped slowly closer, climbing up onto the armchair. "I always used to be the tall one. Steve chuckled and attempted to free himself, but Natasha drove an elbow into his ribcage and Sam pinched his thigh. Bucky reached out and grasped Steve's chin.

     "Open."

     "Mhm."

     "Open your mouth, Cap. We won." Natasha pulled on his arm.

     When he didn't respond immediately, Bucky squeezed his chin, forcing Steve to open his mouth. He looked at his other hand, contemplating the amount of stuffing he had, then shrugged and shoved the entire handful into Steve's mouth. He reached down, stifling laughter and took the phone from Natasha's outstretched hand, and snapped a few pictures before handing it back. Steve garbled at him, and he broke, dropping to his knees and guffawing.

     "I guess we knew I would always win, though," and he ran. Steve shrugged Natasha off, and she fell onto Sam's back, causing him to release his grip on Steve's legs.

     "Yes, but now I can catch you," Steve chased Bucky out onto the balcony, laughing. The other man had disappeared. Steve's steps faltered and came to a halt near the middle of the balcony, but he still chuckled, glad to have a positive experience after everything that had happened.

     "Buck?"

     "Right here, Cap." Bucky's voice echoed in the air.

     "No way! There's one door. Seriously, where are you?"

     "Look up."

     He had perched himself up on a window ledge just above the balcony. "You can catch me now, but you still couldn't find me. Even before, it's always been me finding you."

     Steve's face fell, then he looked up at his long lost friend. "Come down, Buck," he muttered softly, "Truce."

     Bucky eyed him warily, then jumped down, landing silently. "Truce," he said, sticking his hand out.

     Steve shook it. "You were using my foot as a pillow," earning him a punch to the arm. "How did you know to take a picture with Natasha's phone?'

     "I think HYDRA kept me up to date and equipped with a  lot of that kind of technology. It was probably easier for me to track people down and for them to track me. That's about it, technology wise, though, but you could see that in how I handled the dishwasher and television. Can I ask a question?"

     "Sure," Steve reassured.

     "How are you able to act that way with them? I mean, she's an assassin and he's got some PTSD, doesn't he? How are you three able to act so rambunctious and playful with each other?" Bucky's eyes searched his own.

     Steve leaned his forearms against the balcony railing. "Well, Sam and I moved in together after the Potomac incident, and we lit here between searches for you, and, you know Sam. He's a flirt and quite the playful guy so we were able to live together and act humorous and always bantering with each other. Then, a few weeks in, Natasha dropped by and her and Sam took advantage of Tony's bar. I can't get drunk or enjoy liquor anymore, so I just stopped drinking altogether. They were getting drunk in the kitchen and I thought it would be safe for me to take a snooze on the couch. It wasn't. Natasha is extremely mischievous when she's drunk, and Sam is even more giggly, so they had apparently crept into the living room and had been drawing on my face for a while before I woke up, and soon pillows were being thrown and an all out 'war'- not real, just a play pretend battle- broke out. Since then, it kinda became a thing we did to loosen tension and get some laughs. It's odd, I know, but it really helped me get my mind off of you." 

     "I'm sorry..." he shifted his weight from foot to foot.

     "Bucky, god damn it! No more apologizing! It is none of your fault and you couldn't help it anyways. No more."

     "...Okay."

     "It's just that I don't want you blaming yourself. I couldn't get over you and what they did and it has nothing to do wit you because you didn't know. What the Winter Soldier did, however, still worries me. I don't know what will happen if the government, or even the remains of SHIELD will do when or if they find out that you're alive. For now, I have to keep you safe, and safe is here with me. We also need to get you back to health. Sam told me that you may need a doctor. Would you be able to handle that, if I have someone come pay a visit to check up on you?

     "I-I don't know, but I'll try, I guess. Will you be there?" Bucky stammered.

     Steve reached out and put a hand on Bucky's shoulder. "Yeah, Buck, I'll be there."

     "Okay, I'll try it."

     "Thank you. You know it always used to be you calling the doctor to see me," Steve dropped his hand and stuck it in his pants pocket.

     "I remember. You almost died on me every winter with your weak lungs. I nearly had a heart attack every time you got in a fight, too. You damn bastard, always standing up for the little fellow, even though you were the little fellow."

     Steve was taken aback by Bucky's reminiscing and sharing of thoughts. "That's right, I was a little fellow," he chuckled.

     "I don't quite remember, but I'm pretty sure I could see your ribs the entire time I knew you."

     "Hehe probably."

     "Steve?"

     "Yeah, Buck?"

     "I'm getting tired. Can I have another of your shirts before I go to sleep?" A faint blush rose in Bucky's cheeks, bringing color to his otherwise pale complexion.

     "Of course. How about a pillow this time? I need to do laundry and could use the last few clean shirts I have."

     "That's- that's fine. Thank you."

     Steve ran a hand through his hair and hesitantly reached his arms out to his friend, curling the other man into a hug. "You also used to be the one dwarfing me, too. I guess that's going to take some getting used to." He felt a small hum against his chest. Bucky hadn't quite laughed, but it was a start. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry, but I won't be posting for a while since I have exams. I'm also not completely happy with this chapter so I will add and/or edit it after exams.


End file.
